Sometimes the days go according to plan: we get up on time, have time to calmly get ready and have breakfast, get to work, solve important issues, clean up the routine, make all the calls, write all the letters, and with the feeling of “did the job – feel free to go home” see off the outgoing day. Some of us weave workouts, driving our kids to daycare or school, visiting our parents, having coffee with a friend, shopping at the supermarket, or a dozen other things into this basic schedule. And it happens, the day is pouring from the very morning. Here is a puncture, there are inconsistencies, here is a bad day, and my head hurts, and the project deadlines are on fire, and you feel that I can’t cope.
Situations that we cannot change can be especially stressful, and possible advice from loved ones like “just accept it” can only be annoying. It’s not always possible to simply accept, but it’s quite possible to develop skills that help you cope with your emotions in a stressful situation.
Understanding Bad Days
Psychologist Marsha Lainen has developed a strategy through which everyone can learn to deal with difficult moments and difficult days when it is impossible to influence what is happening. This strategy is provocative, as Marsha suggests coping with stress and learning to accept situations through…distraction.
By resisting what is happening, we often reinforce negative emotions and thus exacerbate a conflict or difficult situation. Shifting your focus to other activities and more constructive thoughts doesn’t mean forgetting your struggles, but it can help you deal with them.
Six Ways: How To Have A Bad Day
1. Get busy.
Think: what things give you strength, what activities make you feel better? For some, this is a sport and an opportunity to direct energy into physical activity, someone meditates on knitting or drawing mandalas, and someone, like me, is helped by long walks to favorite places, meeting with a close friend, or a good movie after a delicious dinner. Mentally run through your self-help to-do list, and choose something that immediately resonates with you.
2. Help someone who needs it.
Offer help to someone in need, or help anonymously. Think about how and to whom you can help.
Has your friend recently become a mother? You can make a purchase for her in the supermarket, cook and bring dinner, or take a walk with a stroller in the yard so that she has an hour or two to sleep or time in silence and solitude. Volunteer. Become a blood donor if your health permits. Is your closet full of things that you haven’t worn in a while? Find help groups on social networks, and send the package to someone who might need your stuff.
Psychologist Kelly McGonigal studies stress. In her book and in her TED Talk, she shares the results of a study showing that people who help others cope better with stress live longer. In other words, caring for others develops resilience.
3. Compare correctly.
Do not compare yourself with those who seem to you happier, more successful, richer. Compare yourself to others who are doing just as well or worse than you. The first option of social comparison leads only to a decrease in self-esteem, and the second allows you to find support. “It’s not the hardest day of my life”, “I’ve dealt with worse things than this.”
4. Arouse the opposite emotions.
Are you angry, frustrated, scared, or depressed? Try to evoke other emotions in yourself. What makes you laugh? Games with a child, videos about pets, old KVN games, Internet memes, favorite comedy series? My secret weapon is the failed takes on the set of Friends, every time I laugh to tears.
5. Give yourself time to experience.
Experiences and stressful situations sometimes overwhelm us, thoughts go in circles, and it is not clear how to jump off this carousel. In order not to get stuck in this state, set aside some time for worries, complaints, for “crying”, and then switch from this and return to your business. In Larisa Parfentyeva’s book “100 Ways to Change Your Life” I came across an excellent example of this topic.
Interesting on the topic Habits of Successful People
One football team played match after match successfully and the coach shared the 48-hour method. The bottom line is that in case of a loss, he gives the players two days to survive him. They are allowed to cry, go to bars, have fun, whatever – but after 48 hours they must return to training and forget about the defeat. They celebrate victories in the same way – 48 hours of euphoria, and then back into action.
6. Experience strong sensations.
A good opportunity to switch and calm down is to add strong sensations. Starting from something simple (like taking a very hot shower or holding ice in your hands) and ending with loud music, intense training, and sex.
This works both individually and in combination with one another. When stress is high or the day seems really tough, try one or more of these suggestions. Hope they help you feel better.
FAQs
What can I do to make myself feel better on a tough day?
You can try talking to someone you trust, like a family member or friend. You can also do things that make you happy, such as listening to music, drawing, or taking a relaxing bath.
How long does a tough day last?
Tough days can be different for everyone. Some tough days may get better quickly, while others may take more time. Remember to be patient and take care of yourself.
What can I do if I don’t have someone to talk to?
If you don’t have someone to talk to, you can write down your feelings in a journal or draw pictures to express yourself. You can also try doing activities that make you feel calm and happy, like reading a book or going for a walk.
Can tough days make me feel sad for a long time?
Tough days can sometimes make you feel sad, but it’s important to remember that feelings can change. If you’re feeling sad for a long time, it’s a good idea to talk to a grown-up you trust, like a teacher or parent, who can help you feel better.
Can everyone use these tips to feel better on tough days?
Yes, these tips can be helpful for most people. However, everyone is different, so it’s important to find what works best for you. If you’re still having a hard time, don’t hesitate to ask a grown-up for help.