It seems that today it’s easy to start a relationship: one swipe of your finger across the screen and the match is ready. But who is hiding behind the avatar: the love of your life or a freak from whom you want to instantly run away from a date? Here he came to the meeting in sandals and socks. How to understand, is it because the guy is his mother’s treasure, or did he just really like the Dior Men collection of the spring-summer 2021 season? Should I leave him a phone or is it better to leave him in the status of a subscriber on Instagram?
We offer you to see what lies behind perfect compatibility in a relationship, whether it happens, and how to figure out your personality, even if he wears socks with sandals.
The concept of a perfect match
Psychologists note that those relationships that are based on respect, friendship, common interests, and the coincidence of life rhythms will be strong. They do not say anything new. Compatibility is the ability to be happy with each other and still be yourself as much as possible. They say about compatible people that in the long run they are “along the way”, and that they live in the same coordinate system or “soul to soul”. The trick is that serious relationships are built outside the magical lens of falling in love when the passionate chemistry of attraction bubbles up.
By the way, the search for the second half does not mean the search for the “missing part”. And although they say that opposites attract, often instead of merging, they repel each other and scatter in different directions. In order not to limit your personal growth, it is better to look not for a “compliment” for yourself, but for a like-minded person—a person with a similar system of values and principles.
An interesting psychological conclusion was made by experts after analyzing couples by temperament. The strongest were those unions in which the temperament of the partners differs as much as possible. For example, “choleric – melancholic” or “sanguine – phlegmatic.”
Are you sure he’s the one?
Communication and understanding
If you are not bored in each other’s company and want to share how the day went, this is a good sign of compatibility. You can discuss the car news that excites him, and he listens genuinely about the new tint balm. Generally super!
It is equally important to have a common approach to the organization of domestic issues. If he is used to a homemade three-course dinner, and your culinary inspiration extends to instant noodles at most, misunderstandings may arise))
Shared values and interests
With “your” person, you can be real. You do not need to worry about your words, actions, and deeds, waiting for evaluation. This is just about the state when the internal spring should relax.
It is important to make friends with the “oddities” of the partner. Your relationship will be strong if you are not embarrassed that the guy forgets to put away the razor, but he does not care that your beauty jars filled all the shelves in the bathroom.
Recognizing compatibility and connection
Care is not the same as control. An anxiety symptom is a violation of personal boundaries. For example, when a young man reads your correspondence with other people without asking permission to take a smartphone. Therefore, it is worthwhile to stipulate these points at the start.
Healthy relationships are all about compromise. Not concessions to please a partner, namely the search for a third solution that will satisfy both.
Mutual respect
This is the foundation of a long-term relationship. In such an alliance, partners rejoice at achievements, respect each other’s tastes, and life goals and provide mutual support on the way to their achievement.
Acceptance at all levels
Good relationships are connections that energize us. The bad ones are those who take away this energy. There are no ideal people. And if a guy cannot accept you with all the pluses/minuses and tries to change you, against this background, even the most passionate love will sink like a grain of sand in the waves of the ocean. Criticism in a relationship takes place only when it is constructive and, like a beacon for a ship, carries a guideline for getting out of a difficult situation.
How do you know when it’s time to shed?
Ask yourself questions
Do your values, plans, and principles match?
Do you see a shared future? In successful relationships, partners look at life from the same angle. Compatible people are a team and an incentive for each other.
How does the partner express his concern?
It is better if his advice is backed up by real help. For example, if you are sick, a guy shouldn’t dictate a list of drugs that his grandmother treated him with as a child, but bring them from a pharmacy.
How does he behave after a fight?
Is he trying to resort to manipulation or, on the contrary, is he ready to smooth out sharp corners and find common ground? Loving people are not silent for days after the conflict but try to get along as soon as possible. After all, there are new blockbusters on the posters, it’s time to go to the cinema!
You can also get Who is an Abuser and How to Recognize Him
Analyze actions
Especially in conflict situations, watch the reaction of a man: whether he shows anger or rage. It is also important to evaluate how the guy communicates with other people, for example, service personnel.
Bad calls are baseless jealousy, devaluation of your achievements, and the feeling that your self-esteem is steadily creeping down. You should not live for the sake of other people’s interests, putting an end to your dreams.
Getting out of the comfort zone
They say that to get to know a person well, you need to be with him in atypical conditions. It is not necessary to go on a long hike with a minimum supply of provisions. But looking at his actions and assessing his condition, for example, in a stressful situation, is very important. If you experience feelings of anxiety, embarrassment, or guilt for expressing negative emotions, these are beacons of a destructive relationship.
If for you a partner is just a way to avoid loneliness and not be a black sheep compared to married friends, this is also not an option. It is better to spend precious time on self-development.
As you can see, it is difficult to fully determine your compatibility on one date. Yes, there was a period when socks with sandals signaled alarmingly that an anecdotal mother-in-law was attached to this treasure. But lately, fashion has been defying all stereotypes, and your chosen one may turn out to be a real diamond. Therefore, the main advice is to listen to how you feel next to him. And you still have time to conjure over the style.)
