It took me about a year after my divorce to decide to join Tinder, and several “first dates” to feel relaxed and confident in any meeting.
Build Dating Confidence
Dressing and Grooming for Confidence
If you have agreed to have dinner and then walk around the city, it is better to leave high-heeled shoes for another occasion. In winter, it is better to be dressed warmly and comfortably than in silks and chiffon – except when, for example, you plan to arrive and leave by taxi. Let the shoes be comfortable, shod many times, clothes – in size, and not “the main thing is to fasten.”
Remember appropriateness. Of course, they have long been allowed to enter theaters in jeans, but a dress seems to me more suitable for the occasion. For dinner, dress according to the establishment. You can go to a restaurant a little more elegant than usual, I went to cafes and coffee shops in jeans and a white silk shirt, jeans and a sweater, casual dresses. In the summer – tops and skirts, sundresses and dresses, because I love flowing fabrics. Wear what is familiar and comfortable for you so as not to feel constrained due to an unusual style or inappropriate size.
Do your favorite makeup
Here I am also “for” the usual. If you have never worn red lipstick, and before a date you decided to resurrect a tube you once bought, don’t. If you have never drawn “arrows” and there is no skill to do it well, it is better to practice in your free time, without haste and unnecessary expectations. Cosmetics are far from the main thing in your image, it is more important whether you look like yourself.
Choose the right fragrance
A friend of mine in her student days had a “happy” perfume – a small bottle bought on her first trip to Europe. She said that this fragrance is associated with that trip and brings back a sense of freedom and ecstasy from life. On the days of important events (exams, dates, job interviews), she applied it and this gave her confidence and optimism. You can choose any pleasant aroma and endow it with a special meaning, or you can use your favorite one for a long time. I have been experimenting with fragrances for many years, but the ones that I “wear” on dates remain invariably my favorite – gentle Lanvin and subtle, but so pleasant Masaki Matsushima.
Taking Care of Personal Hygiene
If you have agreed to go for a walk (go to the cinema, to an exhibition), a full stomach will not make a sound at the most inopportune moment. At meetings in a cafe, for example, I feel more comfortable talking when I slowly eat a salad and sip wine and do not dream of eating soup, a main course, and swiping for dessert in an instant. If everything inside shrinks from hunger, I want to eat, and not talk about myself or discuss topics of interest with the interlocutor, and you?
Making Eye Contact
First dates can be awkward because many people want to look like the best version of themselves. This creates a lot of tension, so you should not idealize anyone, including yourself. If a man mispronounced a word, doesn’t use a knife while eating, or tells a joke that smacks of sexism, try to see a real person behind it. And in the case of a joke, you can carefully clarify whether he understands what exactly he is making fun of, and whether it is really funny.
Get positive
If a previous dating or relationship experience left a bitter aftertaste, try not to drag it into a new contact. The one who asked you on a date has nothing to do with the previous guy and is not responsible for past mistakes or bad attitudes toward you. You don’t want to be held responsible for how your ex-girlfriend treated a guy, so don’t do it yourself. Tune in to positivity and openness, it helps to relax and win over the interlocutor.
Engaging in Meaningful Conversation
It is not necessary to study all the news portals an hour before the meeting, but it is desirable to think about what you would like to ask, what to discuss, and what to tell. In case the conversation doesn’t flow naturally, you can go back to your mental list and spice up the conversation with an interesting question or topic.
Embracing Authenticity and Being Yourself
Confidence is largely born out of a sense of worth. May this feeling always be with you, and allow you to act naturally without pretending to be someone else. Remember your boundaries – how you can and how you can not remain yourself, and remember that you are unique, significant, there is no other woman like you.
Visit: How to Break Up With a Guy?
Dates are different. Long-awaited and spontaneous, successful and not so verbose, and filled with long pauses. Some will be remembered for many years, and some will want to be forgotten immediately after parting. May there be more of the first! And let there be no place for stiffness and uncertainty on them.
FAQs
How long does it take to feel confident on a date?
It can take different amounts of time for each person to feel confident on a date. Some people feel confident right away, while others may need more time. Remember, it’s okay to take your time and go at your own pace.
What if I don’t like how I look?
Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way. It’s important to focus on your positive qualities and embrace your individuality. Remember, true confidence comes from within and is not solely based on appearance.
How can I stop feeling nervous and worried?
Feeling nervous is normal, especially when you’re meeting someone new. Take deep breaths and try to relax. You can also think positive thoughts and remind yourself that it’s okay to feel a little nervous. With practice, it will become easier to manage your nerves.
Is it okay to share personal stories on a date?
Sharing personal stories can help you connect with your date. However, it’s important to be mindful of what you share and when. Start with light and casual topics, and if the conversation feels comfortable, you can gradually share more personal stories.
What if someone doesn’t like me?
It’s important to remember that not everyone will have the same preferences or opinions. If someone doesn’t like you, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Focus on being true to yourself and finding someone who appreciates and values you for who you are.